I've been Twittering a lot lately. This Mashable post about types of Twitter users caused me to think about my own rules about deciding which Twitter users to follow.
- If you follow more people than are following you, that is a strike.
- If you rarely or never post updates, that is a strike. Sneak.
- If you post a tweet every 5 seconds, that is a strike. Get a life.
- If you follow fewer than 20 people, that is a strike. C'mon. You're not reading any of us?
- If you follow more than 1,500 people, that is a strike. C'mon. You're not reading all of us.
- If you don't follow me, that is a strike.
- If you complain about people not following you back, that is a strike.
- If you never reply to people, that is a strike.
- If you only reply to people, that is a strike. Get a room.
- If you auto-reply or send me a direct message when I follow you, I am not flattered, and that is a strike.
- If you call yourself a social media guru, evangelist or consultant, that is a strike.
- Linking and news tweets are great, if you are consistently among the first. If you are not, that is a strike.
- Self-linking is great, unless it is all that you do, in which case it is a strike. (I don't mind Twitterfeeds if they are clearly presented as that under a company brand.)
- Retweeting is great, but if that is all you do, that is a strike. Especially if you retweet someone that everybody already follows. And by everybody I mean me.
- Original quips are great, unless they are boring or offensive. I decide. Strike!
- I don't care what you are eating, drinking, watching, smoking, or what the weather is outside your window, or how your commute is going. OK, maybe once in a while. But it might be a strike.
- If you don't use a real picture of your face, that is a strike.
- If you don't tell me who you are or what you are about in your bio, that is a strike.
- If we work together, or I already see your status updates on Facebook, I may not follow you because I already know what's on your mind.
- If you are pretending to be a famous person, or a fictional character, or a building, or someone's pet, or an inanimate object, that is a strike, unless it is consistently funny.
- If your tweets are all about Twitter and social media, or you compile lists about why you follow and don't follow people, that is a strike.
If you are interesting enough, I can forgive any number of strikes and follow you anyway. So what are you waiting for? Follow me @palafo.